[Kaien Shiba]

haihai! crying isn't unManly it is still an emotion and it's obvious this person has hurt you deeply! So tears in this case is ok ;D Seams you arn't alone *reads through the posts* a lot of people have been mistreated.... suppose that makes us all a sort of family/Friend community then yes? Kinship through hardship!

my own story is similar to yours and well to Lovely's above. I had friends I did any and everything for. listened let them walk on me even drove 28 hours strait to pick them up from another state after they had wrecked their car in an accident they caused by being reckless [everyone was ok] then drive them instantly back down to their home state so they could work in the next morning and then drive my self another state over to get to school on time. shoveled out thousands of dollars even once at one go all just so they would care for me as much as I cared for them.

what hurt is after a little time of separation one night I'm told 'you're the BEST friend we could ever have even my friend since dippers isn't as loyal as you are...thank you' it made my world complete... until not more then 2 months after my life turned to chaos, lost my job, my car had broken down, I was under threat of eviction and all they could tell me was simply what a horrible selfish person I was to be so focused on myself lol.

I laugh now because yes it hurt at the time and I panicked...they were my BEST Friends and I was doing them wrong?! how could i? ahh but that was where everything snapped and I was todl what horrible scum of the earth person I was. as if I were the sort of evil demon that ate the souls of my victims and then defecated the innocent, to them I was PURE evil and the reason they all were having troubles. so I lost my only group of friends.

now a days? I found someone I cal my "otherself" because I'm so serious, if soul mates exist, They are IT! and We're simply friends but only the BEST of friends who have despite the only 3 awesome years of knowing each other cannot be without each other. Even a fight with my girlfriend who put a wedge between me and Otherself.... I was more heartbroken and crying over losing my Otherself then my girlfriend!

moral of the story from this old man? Keep looking, you're obviously a person with much "Muchness" to give the world, dont loose that Muchness and if you can, dont let others take that muchness from you either. haha its' obvious that there are some people out here for you! Stay with those who care about YOUR well being as well so that way you can take care of them.