[.rousium]

You don't need to apologize for being scared. You were scared, you didn't react in the best way possible. It's called adrenaline and embarrassment can be a heck of mindset. I stayed in my house and didn't step foot outside of it for nearly two years because of embarrassment.

You do yourself a terrible injustice if you apologize for your actions. Sure, you need to talk to your boyfriend and explain things and if he doesn't understand or offer any kind of support you need to let that one go. There's plenty of fish in the sea, I know it might not seem as such but you have to think about you not other people. This is something I struggled with too for a very long time. I still don't always put myself first but if you don't put yourself first, trust me when I tell you that people will walk all over you and you will always be as sad as you are now. That will never change.

Have some courage and love yourself. Explain yourself but don't apologize. You do know that people die from the whole toxic shock thing, right? Not to be dramatic, but would you apologize for dying?

Ginger, if you need to talk to someone, you can always feel free to pm me.