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#216
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.rousium
More More Magic
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This one part is bothering me. The second sentence..it needs to start better.
He entices you to continue and to keep digging and if you do you will find what it is that he’s hidden, very cleverly for you. That which could only be his treasure, a valuable and ultimately inexplicable journey through his mind.
It almost seems like it could be a massive run on sentence. I don't know. Maybe it should be A treasure instead of That which could only be his yadda yadda..nah
here!
He entices you to continue and to keep digging and if you do you will find what it is that he’s very cleverly, hidden for you. His treasure, a valuable and ultimately inexplicable journey through his mind.
edit.
He entices you to continue and to keep digging because if you do you will find what it is that he’s very cleverly, hidden for you. His treasure, a valuable and ultimately inexplicable journey through his mind.
lol
Last edited by .rousium; 02-18-2011 at 12:33 AM.
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Posted 02-18-2011, 12:28 AM
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