[Hermes]

Would accidentally trip, hit me, and I would fall into a random pit of lava, live, get out, she'd come over to apologize, bump the stretcher, I would fallinto a pit of Crocodiles, they would eat my legs, she would then save me, then realize her handprints were on my now-deformed self, so she would have to get rid of the evidence, so she stabs me with her neighbor's spatula. Repeatedly.