[Jenny Harper]

I think it's back again. A little back story.

My family on my maternal side suffers hormone problems, therefore I have inherited it. It effects us more when Pregnant and after birth, meaning I could be prone to Post Natal Depression. However, this also effects daily life.

My mother had depression and took pills for it. I now have troubles. A year or so ago I had pills to help me, but they were awful and made me very sleepy and dulled everything about me. After a month I came off them. I know I'll always have these problems but get on with it.

I now fear it's back. I have no job nearly 2 months after I lost my seasonal one. I feel depressed a lot of times, but I worry I am just paranoid that I will get the suicide thoughts again. It's the same for a friend of mine. He was one weepy day and thinks the meds aren't working.

I want to start the pills, but I fear they'll stop me being...me if I take them. I'm trying to improve myself and I am getting better but I'd rather be fully better and in a job.

I need to keep active. This is why I haven't posted in a while, I've been on another site that needs a lot of attention to keep myself going.

Anything I can do? I'm just worried I'll go backwards again.