[Duchess]

I'm just venting right... don't really care for feedback of much as to just type out all my thoughts.

Please don't judge me or give me contrived advice, is all i ask.

I feel lonely.

You: WTF Duchess you bitch. You have a man that loves you and would chop off his hand if you just say the word.

Well.... yeh... But I still feel horrid. It's like... its not enough anymore...

You: Such a selfish whore you are.

Yes... yes I am. go fuck yourself now.
Lately he's getting on my nerves.... but for no good reason. He's just getting reeeaally clingy... and the more he clings... the more i'll pull away. Not that I don't want him... I want him so badly.. I just want him on my terms ....

You: You fucking whore....

*ignores* His pet names are getting ridiculous and VERY GRATING. I wish he'd stop calling me his " luvly luv luv of luvliness". Every time he says it, I want to punch him in the face.

You: DOMESTIC ABUSER!

FUCK OFF! *hisses*

I KNOW OK!.. i fucking know.......

I'm a cruel person.. It's just how I feel. I don't care about you... or anything. I just dont. Unless I can relate it to myself somehow.... I really dont give a damn for pitiful humans. I'ma hurt every single one of you some day.....

Not to mention I'm getting worse and worse... I feel sick and tired of everything.... of thinking. or worrying.

I'm scared? Scared of planning... scared of the future? Can't I just live freely, day to day....??? Let me breathe.... please? PLEASE??

I'm obviously relapsing into anxiety and depression by this point. I'm blaming school. Maybe it's my bipolar talking. idk....

I hate making excuses for myself. It's not school's fault, or some mental illness.... I'm just a poor excuse for a human. JUST. LIKE. THE. REST. OF. YOU.

Yeh.. YOU HEARD ME. you ALL suck... The same boat as me. Not any better. That's why I stay living.

That why I dont hurt myself.

That's why I dont want to die.

Because there's someone worse out there who deserves to die a whooooleee lot more than me. A WHOLE lot more.

I should just go on like always. Using people until I get sick of them. Like puppets, playthings, and means to an end.

You: What an evil bitch

Yep.. yep i am. =.=