[Sadrain]

-sighs- I wish I could really, truly help. I can't even give real advice, because I also have been harassed, I also have been the wrong one. Always. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, make out in dark corners, use make up, dye my hair, dress wrong and am just the freak overall, because of my personality. I have believed them that I am just a trash. Oh, heck, I still believe them to some point. There are times when I break down, when I can't learn a single thing, when I feel like an idiot and it is hard to not to cry most of the time.

But I am still here. I am not going to give up. It would give them too much joy and sometimes I despise my self for just being so darn weak, for even considering it. I still find strength to hold on. Sometimes because of my friends, sometimes for the sake of just not giving up. I am dependent on my friends, maybe too much even sometimes, and therefor, those betrayals hurt so much, that's why I doubted there is a single person in whole world who could accept me the way I am.

But there is. And more than one. And there still will be others. World is big and I can never know where I suddenly can find someone who will understand and accept me. I just hope that you will find these people, too, at least one person. There is one for you, too, I am sure. -hugs- Just... Don't push everyone away always. Those who could understand you, have been hurt by something, too, and they don't want to break into other's life unwelcomed. And the way you push them away can hurt them too, make them feel like again someone considers them freak, somewhat disgusting disturbance.