[Hermes]

Hey. I'm me. You're you. Let's Fu------nd a pokemon for week so it can go to diving school, but not learn the move, ever, because it wants to go to the pal park, but never tells us, so we pay good money for diving school, and then it rebels and meets a nice boy and leaves, child in tow, and takes all of our food, and our dreams, and tosses em waway. Eventually, we tearfully disown it, back into the wild, and it evolves and comes back to hunt us all down. The end~