[Poggio]

Wait how does that work out? Aren't ADHD and OCD and being autistic conflicting disorders?
As for your daughter, I wish I could help but most of my ideas go along the lines of spare the rod spoil the child, because that is how I was raised. However now there is no line between discipline and child abuse or at least most people see it as the same and it sounds like you have tired every thing else.

I always feel like I would be the worse parent in the world no matter how it ended up.