[Merskelly Metalien]

Had fun last evening at my irl friend's birthday get-together.
Went to sing Karaoke and then eat some Korean BBQ which I've never had before. o-o It was pretty good! I think I was afraid it would all be kinda spicy. >u>;

Overall, was nice to see my old friends again, after so many years apart from them. They've all changed a little, but I guess I feel that way because I haven't been in touch with any of them, and feel like I really missed out on a lot. <.<; It's like watching a TV show, stopping at the 3rd season, and then hearing an episode from the 7th season like you have no idea what happened in between so you're kind of lost. Like a few of them now have boyfriends, are working places, and have actually active social lives and have made friends in college.

In a way, I still blame myself for not reaching out to them sooner, since I could probably have used their support during my dark periods. But at the same time, I still treasure them too much to want to thrust anything heavy on them..

I'm just glad I was missed, and they were excited and happy to see me. I missed them too. :c I just wish I wasn't so out of water around them, I probably appeared a bit aloof and quiet. >~>; Not like how I probably was before...but I guess that's not bad, since I was being genuinely myself this time, and not putting up a façade to protect myself and them from my depression and anxiety.

I was anxious the day before and the morning of the party event, but I calmed down, and felt much better with the group. <:] I even got to show some pictures to them on my phone and open up a tiny bit with them with what was going on with me in my life. Wish I could've stayed for longer, but I needed to go home and rest. <x]

I also sang like a queen for the Karaoke part of the evening. >w> ~+
At least, in my head I did. I may have been quiet and soft-spoken for most of the time, but I forget how loud I can get when I wanna. >X}
Then again, I learned to annunciate and project in my acting classes, soo.. <:T

Honestly thought I would either be ignored most of the evening, OR have all the attention on me for most of the evening. <:} Turns out, I wasn't ignored, nor thrust into the spotlight.



TLDR: Currently reeling from the idea of me hanging out with irl friends, and genuinely having a nice time. <x'} Kinda deprarious but also refreshing. <3