[Kory]

So....

I knew this already, but for some reason it only hit me just now...
My medication could kill me. It has a "black box" warning... so it's very, very dangerous.
My schedule has been all sorts of fucked lately, I've been forgetting some doses..
I think it's ruining my body. I've been so tired and dizzy lately that I can't even stand for long periods of time. I feel really weird and nauseous too

Since its really dangerous I have to get my blood drawn often..
I had to have it drawn once a week for 6 months, then once every two weeks for another 6 months... now once a month...

But since it's so "dangerous" my psychiatrist says if I miss more than 2 days of doses, I will have to start over with once a week blood draws .. .and I dunno what to do about it.
I haven't missed more then 2 days consecutively , but altogether in the week I missed about 4 days of meds...

am feeling fucked ,
Because if my medication stops working , I'll likely end up in hospital again
and I don't want to ever go back to the hospital