[Merskelly Metalien]

;u; Feel like I'm alone in the sense that people like me are everywhere but they're actually doing a way better job than I am, and are way stronger for having been in worse places, gone through worse pasts, and still able to do more than I can...
;n; I think, I think too much, and as a result I'm never staying in the present. Always stressed about tomorrow and the next week and the next month and the next year, but push it into the back of my mind, because I'm too busy thinking about the past and my youth and my pain and my old things. <x{

Currently, just worried and mega stressed about what to do next year about school. ;_; I don't want to register for any classes, as this last semester was just painfully hard to get through. But I can't just bum around and recharge either. ;n; Even though I want to for the whole world...
I'm thinking about going up to live with my dad for a while, and getting used to a better and healthier routine, with exercise, better things to eat, and regular sleep. <:c I don't like being put to work, and I don't like being so delicate, but I'm hoping to recover myself at least so I feel better physically, and handle work without feeling like a damn slave. Q-Q

He's got adulting stuff to teach me, even though we're very different people and totally don't agree with each other politically or spiritually, and I think he's been missing from my life for a good chunk of years. <:c And I know my mom is not going to like me deciding to skip a school semester for a while, but I don't think she knows how lost I feel in school and at home. <n<; Not sure I want to go back to school until I know what I want a degree in, and until I have the strength and confidence of an average person. <x} Because what I got is nada.