[Merskelly Metalien]

;u; I've been in constant on/off denial that I have any sort of mental illness, because I've constantly been told all my life both, "What's wrong with you?" and "Nothing's wrong with you." I still have no idea what is wrong with me, but I still also think that nothing is BADLY wrong with me.

I'm, I guess diagnosed with depression by my mental health professional, but <:/ I guess it's mild depression because I usually only get not-frequent moments of it at a time, but sometimes it just comes out of nowhere. <:c
One day I could be relaxed and fine, and happy to do things.
And then suddenly another day I could be dwelling on things too much and self-blaming, self-harming by means of not taking care of myself and staying miserable, all while beating myself up over something small. <n<;;

I got anxiety too, but it more or less comes in the common situations, like public speaking, performing, going to someplace public and seeing an old face I really didn't expect or want to see. >~>; Also get anxiety in some crowded places, and whenever anyone express the slightest bit of anger around me.

Not sure how someone like me can go about having a job where you have to handle multiple tasks and multiple people every single day or every other day without getting both exhausted and drained emotionally. <x'{ ????? It boggles my mind how people can somehow not only successfully be HIRED, but how they can function in their job without having it negatively affect their mental health in some way. <:{