[Gallagher]

Originally Posted by Kaderin Triste

I hate feeling emotionally...handicapped I guess?...at times. Having a friend dealing with a difficult and emotional time and all I can do is offer pragmatic solutions for future assistance because I don't know how to emotionally be there for them, especially given physical distance between us. Like, they could probably use a hug and some comforting emotional advice, but I feel dead inside emotionally and don't know what to say to help them.
Why am I like this? *facepalms* How do I be a better friend?

you know, i've actually struggled with this same kind of thing a lot. but, sort of recently, i've kind of realized something that helps... or, helps me, anyway.

there are actually... a lot of people that, when they go looking for comfort from friends, they don't want said friend to get on the same emotional level as them. they want someone stable and grounding, not someone that'll match their energy or offer the stereotypical hugs and comforting words.

and when i think of that, i realize. being emotionally distant in a way, that's not me being a bad friend. not at all. all it really is, even in the worst case scenario, is not being the kind of friend they need right at that moment.

and like... that's okay.

no one is meant to be everything for another person. not even long time partners are everything to each other. they still have other family. other friends. and not getting one thing from someone, or not giving one thing to someone, doesn't change the quality of that relationship.