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Pirouetting Nightmare · Posted 03-31-2018, 04:57 PM

I worked hard for 8 years to become a great artist, and was finally almost at the level I had wanted to be. A really bad accident happened that wasn't my fault, and I learned many things.

How useless doctors are, how expensive it could be just to end up with the same result in the end, how you can be in your 20s and get your life stolen from you, your dreams shattered, how you can be utterly alone and sometimes you do need someone to help you out when bad things happen. They were all bad doctors that believed it wasn't that bad, but then it turned out it was, and I have permanent nerve damage, and I can't art or type long without lava flowing through my arm, and even if I ignore it, it and my hand will just stop working. I learned how cruel humans could be to people they don't care about. I learned that my parents were capable of threatening to kick me out if I didn't do stuff for them with a freshly broken body, rather then them be comforting and do stuff for me. I learned that it can take 18 months to 3 years to get to know if the government will call you disabled or not. I learned that most states aren't even above 50% approval rating and there's even one at 18% approval rating. People are something they line their pockets with, not that they help in any way.

I want to escape being trapped in 100 square feet. I only have one person in my life that I talk (aka text only) on a daily basis, and they live many many states away and usually aren't there for me when I'm feeling awful, and I've been in need of advice, but I've never found anyone that could give me any. My life has always been that way, and I have always sought and held refuge on the online world since around 2001-2004 era because of how awful the people in my family and area can be.

I haven't been able to view the future as anything at all now, when there's nothing I can do now other than try to survive, because most my old hobbies and abilities aren't something I can indulge in. Sometimes I would like to believe there is meaning.

		#120	Pirouetting Nightmare twitch
I worked hard for 8 years to become a great artist, and was finally almost at the level I had wanted to be. A really bad accident happened that wasn't my fault, and I learned many things. How useless doctors are, how expensive it could be just to end up with the same result in the end, how you can be in your 20s and get your life stolen from you, your dreams shattered, how you can be utterly alone and sometimes you do need someone to help you out when bad things happen. They were all bad doctors that believed it wasn't that bad, but then it turned out it was, and I have permanent nerve damage, and I can't art or type long without lava flowing through my arm, and even if I ignore it, it and my hand will just stop working. I learned how cruel humans could be to people they don't care about. I learned that my parents were capable of threatening to kick me out if I didn't do stuff for them with a freshly broken body, rather then them be comforting and do stuff for me. I learned that it can take 18 months to 3 years to get to know if the government will call you disabled or not. I learned that most states aren't even above 50% approval rating and there's even one at 18% approval rating. People are something they line their pockets with, not that they help in any way. I want to escape being trapped in 100 square feet. I only have one person in my life that I talk (aka text only) on a daily basis, and they live many many states away and usually aren't there for me when I'm feeling awful, and I've been in need of advice, but I've never found anyone that could give me any. My life has always been that way, and I have always sought and held refuge on the online world since around 2001-2004 era because of how awful the people in my family and area can be. I haven't been able to view the future as anything at all now, when there's nothing I can do now other than try to survive, because most my old hobbies and abilities aren't something I can indulge in. Sometimes I would like to believe there is meaning. Find the ones that haven't given up. They are the future. Life is a very special book. You read it with your heart. The first chapter may be confusing, but it will become clear and interesting when you keep reading. Life is also a strange road. You have to keep going even though it's bumpy.
	Posted 03-31-2018, 04:57 PM