[uncledaddy]

so this is becoming a more and more frequent occurrence: i try to get some cheese, find WEIRD THINGS HAVE BEEN DONE WITH IT. only other person in the house is my grandma, but you'd think someone so obsessed with things being neat and tidy would... idk... not behave like such a savage around cheese?

here is the first major incident, quoted from my post on another forum when it happened (slight language warning):

this thing that i experienced. i... there is no rational explanation for it.

i went into the fridge to get a slice of cheese. the package was open, and the cheese was starting to dry out. i looked in and the slice on top was missing a few large chunks, almost as if someone had just taken bites out of it and put it back in--including the little paper separator underneath. what the actual fuck? WHAT. am i to assume my grandma just opened the cheese, ripped off some pieces with the paper still stuck to it, shoved half a slice back into the package, and put it back in the fridge without even shutting it? is she drunk??? i don't even wanna ask about this. i really don't. i just threw that piece away and shut the package.

and then, just the other day, i had a similar issue with the block cheddar. she couldn't just tear pieces off the slices and put them back in, but the end of the block was all rounded and lumpy like someone had just dug into it with a bunch of tiny spoons. like... did she nibble all over it? claw at it with her fingers? stick it into a pit of rabid mice and let them do all the work??? it was clearly ripped away in uneven pieces, not cut or grated. i slice and grate cheese from the block all the damn time and it has never come out looking like that. hell, i've taken a bite out of a block of cheese once and it didn't look like that (shut up, it was MY block and no one else could have it).

i really really don't understand what happens when my grandma encounters cheese. please send help.