[Pinkie]

Well you see that's why I'm having such issue with this. In my family everyone is so open with everyone. There is no secrets unless it's me. It's not that THEY hold them it's ME. I have been through so much in my short life I guess I gave up early.

I know it's not healthy I have been told many a time it's not but it's not a switch that I can just flick to make things better. I honestly have been tying for...hell 18 almost 20 years to feel something anything....but nothing.

I gave into emotion once. Fell in love then he broke my heart in the cruelest way....

I just...avoid it all now.