[Salone]

Eduardo proceeded awkwardly through the melee, unknowingly avoiding several attacks and badly aimed projectiles. He put his hand up in a polite halting gesture at bandits as they went running by.

"Um, excuse me- Er, yes could you just...Oh, hello, if you mind standing stil- Oh for the love of..."

He gave up in exasperation, clearly being avoided by the bandits for much more threatening and credible targets. Sighing, he produced his ridiculously large bag of money once again, dangling it like a treat before getting ready to wield it like the world's most expensive morning star.

"If it helps, I have money you know!"

Dan however is having much better luck gaining the attention of bandits!


"Come and get it!"

Dan was for once in his life in his element. He ran about the enclosed battlefield, deploying his turret and rolling for cover as he fired a net projectile at a hapless bandit who was so generic he said the same taunt line as the one right next to him. Dan let out some sort of...cackle? Growl? Charr have different vocal cords, a grackle. Let's go with grackle. He let one out. Anyway, he took cover behind a wooden fence to reload, breathing in deeply and enjoying every breath.

Really Dan? None of this bothers you? I watched you black out in fear over a jalapeño once. Not to mention the business with the ooze from earlier. Wouldn't actual gunshots mess with you?

Dan shook his head, firing blindly from cover with one hand as he prepared a sticky glue shot with the other.

"Nah. One time experiences are the ones that get you. But experience life threatening experiences too much and you get burned out on them. Easy as pie."

Dan, you do know that pie isn't an appropriate way to convey the difficulty of a task, right? You know it's an item of food?


"It's a phrase! The humans say it! Ask a human!"

Dan rose upward as a bandit came running by, grabbing him with a massive claw and pinning him to the ground. Inches from his face, Dan roared at him.

"ISN'T 'EASY AS PIE' A FIGURE OF SPEECH?!"

The bandit screamed, this one less generic than the others by a slightly less amount due to having some time in the story, but not enough for an actual speaking role. He'll break out in to the big leagues one day. In the meantime, all he could do was scream helplessly as his one time experience of nearly dying was giving him a panic attack. Dan reared back, shooting him point blank to ease him by confirming his fears.

"Fine! Easy as eating a pie or something then!"