Believe me, Transformers fans are as varied as the iterations of Transformers. Most of the time, Transformers fans are the
worst ones to talk to about Transformers.
Summer before last I drove a straight 13 hours to go to Orlando, where I spent a butt-ton of money in the gift shop of the Transformers ride. There is a really badass jacket from there, even if it is associated with the Bayverse. Maybe I'll take a picture of it. I have no regrets.
I've attempted to get in to Transformer RP's, but they've either never gotten off the ground or have suddenly gotten weird, in the exact way you're thinking. A few friends and I tried to mock up a Transformers tabletop game, but it never got off the ground. We were just too lazy.
And as far as the toys go...I didn't know it at the time, but my first toy was a G1 Ratbat. Favorites are hard, but toy-wise it's a toss up between War for Cybertron Shockwave and Hunt for the Decepticons Breacher, who I bought multiples of for repainting. In fact...
Ah hah! Still got it. This is a repaint I did that I posted to the Seibertron forums a few years back.
Seriously. I love that little guy.