[Lucid:]

I totally feel your pain. I still don't quite know if I'm ace, or if he just didn't ever learn how to do it right after 3 years. Either I'm never going to care about sex, or since I never had a good experience I don't really have a desire for it. One of the reasons for the divorce, and one of the reasons I don't know if I would remarry. I totally would need a dating resume too, haha.

My marriage counselor taught me that there are a few ways to connect to a partner. The most common are physical connection and emotional connection. There is also spiritual connection (sharing beliefs), connecting through common interests/spending time with one another, and I think there was one other that he told me about that I forgot. (haha I suck.) As long as both people can both give and receive through one of those ways, the relationship should have a solid foundation. My problem was that I had no desire for a physical connection, he had no desire for an emotional connection, I'm religious and he had recently decided to stop going to church, and the only common interest we really had was video games. The relationship was shallow at best, and manipulative to try and get the other person to meet our own needs at worst.

There ARE definitely women out there who don't care about sex. You're lucky in that it's more common to find in women. And, I think you're thinking about a lot of the important things, which is good. The advice always goes "marry your best friend," right? :) That's the way I look at it, with the added qualification that they have to be a good cuddler.