[Chi]

Haha, I'm hoping to get a real job soon. It's hard to keep faith sometimes though. I want to be successful somehow, I want to help others and I want to be happy. None of those things seem possible right now though. It's hard to feel happy when I feel like I'm screwing something up.

I'm afraid to get close to people too because I don't want them getting the wrong impression. I've ran into so many people that just think I want to date them. And I really don't. I want friends first but even that seems hard. It's a lot hard for me to open up to people now.