[SolarCat]

Dear Mom,
When you said you wanted to bring up the family to celebrate my birthday, I thought you really meant to celebrate my birthday. I'm glad you like my sister's boyfriend, but it was my birthday, not his, and my sister wasn't even there! But maybe that's why you wouldn't stop talking to him while he was there, and talking about him after he left early to go to work.
I appreciate that he is a guest. I just feel that you SHUSHING me so loudly and announcing that I have already said I want Caesar Salad, so that was my choice for dinner and I couldn't pick anything else, and then fawning over him about how we'll order anything he wants shows to me that the visit was to see HIM, not ME.
And my sister agrees! Speaking to her last night after everything, she feels that if she ever breaks up with Jim, you'll disown her to keep him. Why don't you just run off with him? You get Jim, and we'll get Dad (and hopefully get him to the point where he can actually voice an opinion someone didn't spoonfeed him), and I can shave a couple years off my therapy sessions?

It was good to see my brothers. I wish you would have let me actually talk to them, instead of cutting us off so you could domineer the conversation, but at least I got to SEE them... The only reason I haven't cut you out of my life completely is because they are still stuck under your thumb.

In another six years my youngest brother will be done with college, and I will be out of your life, and you can go as crazy as you like about whoever you want on my birthday. Just leave me out of it.