I originally came to this website through another website called "Crysandrea". I had had good luck the last time I had checked out a new place, and this seemed to continue that trend. Some of my first friends were Lucid, Demonskid, and #FFFFFF. Oh, and I remember when AngelSpiritGirl was the oldest of old avatars, and I remember Coda's old avatar, too!
I made some good memories with people here, eventually bringing in a few of my friends from other places as well, to join the party! I wanted to see this place do well. I brought the girl I'd been seeing here, and, well, that turned into a bit of an identity crisis for me. She had more free time than me, and was a girl so therefore automatically more popular, and so I started to kind of question myself. I judged myself for so long on how many more people wanted to talk to me than other people, that I began to kind of have this one-sided (me being the asshole I am) competition with her. I began to get moody with people on here, I began to question people, and it seemed like I was just becoming a background figure in a sea of girls' threads. Really, it was just my own inability to change or deal with people in a non-controlling way on websites.
I had a run with staff. We won't talk much about that, since I honestly don't consider it a happy portion of my time here (Love you staffers though, okay!) due to some personal stuff that had been going on. I had a bit of an addiction while I was staff- Banning bots. I cannot tell you how stress-relieving it is to click that banhammer, and bots give you a surplus of outlets. The color of my name gave me the recognition from people I craved for my own selfish reasons, and that was good for a time, until I broke it off with someone, and things seemed to split into sides. I decided my best option was to step out.
When I stepped back in, there was one specific friend from here who stuck with me: Asami. Asami talked to me here, on Skype, on facebook, over text message, everywhere. And for a while, she was the ONLY person who spoke to me. I don't think I ever told her, but for a while she was the only real friend I had. Everyone I knew in reality abandoned me over a girl. Another person, had her own reasons. But Asami stuck with me.
She became my reason for being on the website. I basically posted where she did. I tried posting a couple other places, usually got a few decent posts of conversation, but Asami was where I saw the most activity. I do know I told her at one point she was the only reason I was even checking the site anymore.
Now, she's leaving. I feel kinda like a not-so-important relic, and I'm OKAY with that. I no longer have this need, this craving for huge amounts of attention. People who are really my friend make it a point to stay in contact with me, and I'd rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies.
But I want everyone to know, I am always here, figuratively. If you just need someone to talk to, message me, I'll still check it once in a long while to make sure of things.
So, I'll miss you guys, but I gotta go out with my "Bro 4 Lyfe".
Vaya con dios, bros
<--Trisphee Kensai-->
