[Pinkie]

Well as some know pinkie has hit a tough spot in her life. So many things are happening at this moment and none of them are good. Well let me start from the begining...

All my life I learned it was easier to please others then to stand and fight back. So that's what I did. I went out of my way to make others happy when I myself was miserable. It was easier to be that way with my weight and looks.

Then I met someone and things changed. For almost five years I was happy and then it all changed. The man I thought I was going to merry left me with nothing but a suitcase of clothes and some boxes of items. After five years it ended with a phone call.

Since that day we had not spoken or seen each other. Nothing happened. Then the day of our supposed to be with year anniversary out of the blue I get a message and it's from him. Wanting to go for coffee to talk. So I took the chance and did. At first I was scared and fearful on what was going to happen. After everything that has I was cautious.

Well things have changed and we are more open and kind to each other then we ever were when we were together. Tonight we has another coffee date and a heart to heart that lasted hours and ended bad. During this talk I got light touches and words as well as kisses and awkward moments of being called babe by this man that left me.

Now I am sitting here thinking about everything and I have no idea what to do. He tells me he's sorry for everything and how it ended. That he wanted things to change. I am so confused and hurt over so much its a constant headache.

What I need is advice. I want to continue UE these coffees and see him but I know its the part of me that misses him that wants this. And another part of me wants to smack him tell him to f off and move on...I really don't know what to do an no one in my real life is helping when I only hear the same heart broken answer from everyone. I need some different opinions before I loose my mind for good...