It's not easy for me, especially since my last relationship was emotionally and mentally abusive. I was with my former boyfriend for about 3 years and it was hard. I thought he wanted to be with me for me, but it turns out, he was a power-mongering bastard. I was dumb and he made me feel that I couldn't be with anyone else. The sad part was that I believed everything he said. Whether it was one day, saying he loves me, then the next, he didn't want me. This continued to a point where he kicked me out and I was sexually assaulted. I became broken and damaged for a long time until one day I finally woke up. I grew tired of him throwing me away then begging me to come back. I had enough and left him for good. He continued to harp after me, begging me to go back to him, but persisted most of the problems in our relationship were my fault. He even told me he slept with another woman to get my attention. I just laughed. I began dating again, accordingly and avoiding any more drama. The guys I met treated me so much better and it was scary at first, but also a relief. I knew I could find someone right for me.
New year's day 2014, I met someone who simply asked me out on a motorcycle ride. No sex, no movies, no typical out on the down date. He took me up to Oak Glen in the morning and it made me extremely happy. I have been dating this wonderful man, a year older than me, for 3 months now.
The only problems I'm having are mostly minimal. He's having exes or girls he had dated flake out on him, but then suddenly want to bang him now that he is with me. It's annoying but he's reassured me he's not interested and loves me too much to hurt me. However, because of the idiot I had dated before, there's doubt and fear in the back of my head. I fear he doesn't love me the way he says he does, however, he has shown me otherwise. I spend however much time I can with him, and he's slowly been killing my doubt. Though, I'm still wary and careful, I enjoy every second I'm with him.
So there's hope, for people who have been in bad and rough relationships, that there is love. Real love. Something you can hold near and dear and appreciate.
