[Suzerain of Sheol]

Originally Posted by Yokuutsu

On the teleport thing: Just because eh can use magic doesn't mean one person has enough to teleport 12 people and their crap all at once, or seperately. That's what I think.

Except no one in these movies can *actually* teleport, they just go places off-screen instantly for no explainable reason. :P

Otherwise, when Gandalf got captured, Radagast could have teleported to get Galadriel, who could have teleported back to Dol Guldur and wrecked the place like we all know she's going to do in the next movie.

And on the taunts thing....think about it....how long has the dragon been isolated? He hasn't been social in a long time and someone is trying to steal his shit. Many people would have acted the same minus the fire breathing and all.

He's not a person, though. He's a sentient animal intelligence. Dragons in Tolkien are renowned for their cunning. He's also only been dormant for ~60 years, which to a dragon's lifespan is fairly inconsequential. Either way, he's a creature of instinct, but beyond even that -- he is the chief antagonist of these films. We now see that the dwarves are in no danger in his presence, thus destroying his credibility as a villain.

But even ignoring all that: He had multiple, MULTIPLE opportunities to slaughter them wholesale, and they were saved only by the writers' handing Smaug the idiot ball. Inexcusable. They spent all that money designing him and getting BC to do his voice, all to make him into the scariest dragon ever on film, and somehow turned him into a moron.

Either way, I liked the movie. I thought it was funny....serious movies can do very well, but if any of the Hobbit turned out like the Two Towers did, I would have to kill someone (The Two Towers for me was: Ooooh Gandalf looks like an angel -battle- WHERE IS THE SPIDER DAMMIT?! The one thing I was really looking forward to that was in the second book....nope.)

The Hobbit is supposed to be *charming*. Slapstick, is not charming. It's anachronistic postmodern irony forced into a framework where it does not work at all. It's like the writers are saying to the audience, "We know this fantasy stuff is stupid kids' nonsense, so just have a laugh at how silly it all is" .... when, in reality, fantasy is stupid kids' nonsense BECAUSE of the injection of these kind of juvenile antics into the narrative. There is no reason this movie could not have taken itself seriously AND had a charm and humor that fit within its thematic.

And on the love interest, it isn't like it's two hours long, it's just a few minutes that isn't crucial to the plot...I can deal with it...especially when it's cute XD And not that long XD I can't do two hours of cheesy/sappy.

It is offensive to me. It annihilates the entire character of the elven race to indulge in simpering, saccharine 21st-century fetishistic cross-species vapid fan-fictional pandering to the lowest, most shameful whim of market appeal. This is compounded by Tauriel's amazing ability to be at once an irredeemable Mary Sue and a hilarious hypocrisy of trying to inject female agency into Tolkien's works... by making her entire role in the film consist of pining over a man! (And how very coincidental it wasn't Dwalin or Bombur she fell for....)


And go ahead with "You're taking this too seriously." I am taking it quite seriously, thank you. :P

If you guys can enjoy this movie for what it is, at least you had a good time and didn't waste your money. I'll just stay here in my corner of misery and hypercritical bitterness. :D

And Lawtan, if its only sin was throwing away the plot of the book, well... it would be a merrier world. :|