[Gallagher]

You can space it out just by delving into what's going on around her, not just what she's doing. Is she so focused that she doesn't really notice anyone else anymore? Is she jumpy about more snakes getting him again? Does she feel like time is racing against her, or it's all going slow, even her own movements?

You're doing well. Take a step back for a while if you need it. It's alright.

-sees edit- Actually.

Rurik's part is good. I would cut Kadia's first paragraph, because the snakes are pretty much handled, then break up her actions a bit more like you did with his. Of course, it's up to you.

...

One more slight note on the actual aid aspects, there's no way he would get cold and stiff that quickly. It could easily be her panic and imagination making her think it, though.