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Mirra · Posted 04-15-2013, 04:32 PM

I know exactly how you feel!! My husband and I was in the same boat about a year or two ago. Just it was my husband making the money. At first I thought I couldn't really say anything, cuz he was the one who was making, but then feelings kept manifesting how I wanted to get new clothes and nice things too. It sucks seeing your hubby all fresh with new and nice things while you're wearing old clothes, old crap phone, and junk. And instead of talking to him about it, I just started buying stuff too like he would. You can bet your butt that it just made it much worse, cuz then it was both of us spending a lot. I had stopped and what I wound up doing was going over what we spend. My husband finally saw that he was spending way too much, too often and it sunk in. So that I wouldn't get such a short end of the stick, he agreed that when he gets something, I'll get something too. So if he were to get a new shirt, I'd get one too. But we'd only do that maybe about once a month. Something that I had thought of that could work was taking out cash and have that as spending money. Like 40 bucks spending money. We never did that since with cash it seemed to go a lot quicker and I was scared that would just back fire.

It took us both a while to get where we are now. We've had plenty of our share on over drafting, missing bills, and even borrowing money. We've been married for 4 years now and all I can say is it did not happen over night and it didn't even get fixed after just a month. You have to break habits and that's hard. Oh... And at one point I actually took my husbands debit card (with him fully willingly) and that helped. You just have to keep looking over what you've both spend over the last paycheck before payday and remind him how he's doing. This will also help you see the difference the two of you spend since sometimes it just FEELS like they get more but it's either not as much or it's about the same. Oh and I've left my card with my hubby several times and longer since I didn't work and it helped me just stay home and not spend anything.

I hope I helped a bit, sorry that I sorta ranted rather than just getting straight to the point. Lol.

		#10	Mirra nostalgic
I know exactly how you feel!! My husband and I was in the same boat about a year or two ago. Just it was my husband making the money. At first I thought I couldn't really say anything, cuz he was the one who was making, but then feelings kept manifesting how I wanted to get new clothes and nice things too. It sucks seeing your hubby all fresh with new and nice things while you're wearing old clothes, old crap phone, and junk. And instead of talking to him about it, I just started buying stuff too like he would. You can bet your butt that it just made it much worse, cuz then it was both of us spending a lot. I had stopped and what I wound up doing was going over what we spend. My husband finally saw that he was spending way too much, too often and it sunk in. So that I wouldn't get such a short end of the stick, he agreed that when he gets something, I'll get something too. So if he were to get a new shirt, I'd get one too. But we'd only do that maybe about once a month. Something that I had thought of that could work was taking out cash and have that as spending money. Like 40 bucks spending money. We never did that since with cash it seemed to go a lot quicker and I was scared that would just back fire. It took us both a while to get where we are now. We've had plenty of our share on over drafting, missing bills, and even borrowing money. We've been married for 4 years now and all I can say is it did not happen over night and it didn't even get fixed after just a month. You have to break habits and that's hard. Oh... And at one point I actually took my husbands debit card (with him fully willingly) and that helped. You just have to keep looking over what you've both spend over the last paycheck before payday and remind him how he's doing. This will also help you see the difference the two of you spend since sometimes it just FEELS like they get more but it's either not as much or it's about the same. Oh and I've left my card with my hubby several times and longer since I didn't work and it helped me just stay home and not spend anything. I hope I helped a bit, sorry that I sorta ranted rather than just getting straight to the point. Lol.
	Posted 04-15-2013, 04:32 PM