I have been dealing with a lot in my life,I have been dealing with too much and for the past three months I have been feeling really down all the time.My family hates me,they tell me all the time that they don't want me around anymore and I don't know what I did to make them feel the way they feel about me. I help out around the house,I cook clean,and do laundry and I do other things to help them out but it seems to me it's not good enough.
Maybe I should leave to make them happy but knowing that they don't want me anymore hurts me a lot. I just lost my job and I have been trying to find a job but I've had no luck,I tried getting unemployment and I was denied unemployment.On top of this I lost two of my best-friends last week in a house fire,I am having a hard time dealing with their deaths I've been crying everyday non-stop.
Then last night my boyfriend decided he doesn't want me so he broke up with me last night.We've been together for a whole year and then last night he just kicks me to the curb for someone else.He knows how much I'm hurting already and he just adds to my pain by leaving me.My heart is in a million pieces and no one seems to care.Even my other friends have kicked me out of their life,I tried calling them and not one of them wants to talk to me.No one wants anything to do with me anymore.
I am so depressed and I have no one I can talk to,I feel so miserable.I'm always so tired and so sad all the time.All I do when I get home from job hunting is I go straight to my room and sit in my room alone crying for hours.Then after I've done that I end up falling asleep and I sleep the rest of the day.I sleep a lot,I sleep 16-18 hours and lots of times I sleep longer because I'm always so tired.Lots of times I have to force myself to wake up and get out of bed.
I have suicidal thoughts all the time,I hate my life so much that I don't want my life anymore.My life is so useless and it sucks tremendously.I have no friends,no boyfriend,no job,and practically no family because my family hates me.I don't wanna live anymore,I want to be at peace finally,I'm tired of being depressed.I want out,no one will miss me if I was dead anyway.I just want out of my miserable life.
