[Law]

Just to say something counter to what Coda said about the pills for depression. He's right they don't make you happy, but they don't do exactly what he said either. When you are depressed their is something wrong with your brain which makes it hard to feel anything other than empty or sad. By taking the medicine it helps with those problems. It was explained to me by a psychiatrist like this. Imagine you're emotions are all a boat, and your brain is a lake. When you're depressed the lake is dried up, and can't make it all the way but taking the medicine is like rain refilling the lake allowing them to flow freely again. Yeah it's silly, but I can't really doubt what the psychiatrist says because I'm not a psychiatrist myself.

Everyone has had a little trouble from time to time, and your story sounds like mine just a bit of a difference. My father was abusive as well. My mother would work from the time I went to school till the time I was going to bed at night. I never got to see her. My dad however never worked at all, and was always home drinking and yelling. He drove away friends threw TV's into walls, and on multiple occasions put boxes in my bedroom making me put everything I own in them so he could sell them. Something that ran parallel to this was the fact that I went to a public school, and was not home schooled. Children were rude always calling me names, and at one time it was really getting to me. I never felt anything other than sad or angry. I devoted myself to doing nothing, but spending time on the computer playing online games. To this day I still snap sometimes, and get furious with people but it hasn't been so bad. I still put myself down at times thinking I can't do this, but you just persevere the best you can. Dying helps no one, and doesn't really solve your problems at the same time. Your family would go through a grieving process, they would have to pay costly amounts for a funeral which goes against wanting to save your mother money, and if you're not alive anymore you can no longer offer anything to anyone.

I can't tell you everything is going to be okay, but you just have to try and make it all okay instead of running away from it.