[Helsinki Harlot]

Enkeli . 2; I do get that self-destructive behavior thing. I'm pretty sure we could spend days talking about this and the stories you have to tell. My time line went (and NO, not all of these are bad, this is just how I went in my life) drinking-cigs- weed (and I will say; advocate for legalization) - ecstasy, cocaine, shrooms, acid. So... If you ever want to chit chat about ANYTHING. I've been most places. Not everywhere, but most places.

But... shrooms. The first night was friggin' WILD. I mean holy hell I have a story about that night. But it was the first night I said good bye to Jon, broke me apart, and I still haven't let go. But it helped me deal with him loving me and being gone.

Thank you; because I... it helps. I was taught as a kid that I didn't matter, and that my opinion didn't matter. So I have a hard time talking a and b. This mofo. Just.... yeah he was handsome, but I didn't fall in love with the looks (I can legit say that too, not just a pretty romance story. No. He lived so far away. Didn't get the chance to fall in love with his LOOKS because he had to take care of his mom). And what kills me, is that he HATED himself so much. He thought every one of those deaths was his fault.

[/quick cig and oh lord my hand is burning. Oven imprint.]