[Helsinki Harlot]

Haha yeah. I just have the worst feelings because she was.... really sick. Like terminal sick. And I wanted to get the story done before timeline got a hold of it, but she got sicker and poofed, came back for a bit and never got back to me after our last correspandance. So no matter what, the least I can do is get this story done.

I'll white text it just in case you don't want it openly talked about [/spent 2 minutes trying to figure out how to white text] I don't have personal experience in that but I've had relations with people who have gender/sex things going on. Hell one of my ex's is working through same type of issues. I've gotten to the point where I don't recognize (when with a person) physical sex body but what they identify as. So talk about it all you want. :)

I know how that feels. I've... haha. Oh lord. Looking back. So many things that I've done. Or tried to do. Just blows my mind. Shameful admission; almost drowned in my own vomit one night if it hadn't been for Sarah.

Thank you. It's... it's been, well, when July hits 4 years. I think about him every night I go to bed and every morning I wake up and almost every second of the day. He... made me better. He helped me stop hurting myself. It's... not just because I loved him but he saw something in me that I didn't. And I told myself well, even if I don't think it's true now, maybe I can become this strong, amazing person he sees. I will get better. I will become stronger. First male I've ever had as a role model. He was actually murdered. (I got a tattoo for him I'll link in a bit.)

I am. I got... really bad. A friend of mine told me recently that if I hadn't quit with my binge when I did (another tattoo I'm gonna show in abit) they wanted to have an intervention. But... just because someone dies doesn't mean you get to stop living for what they stood for. It's hard. But I'm trying. :)