[Katame Shiraga]

Granted, you find one in the local newspaper, but, because of your overwhelming excitement over having found a Lab, you fail to see the underlying text within the ad, which is that the Lab is, in fact, a Hellhound and, once fully matured, it will devour the soul of its current master, damning them to be eternally burned within Hell, even if they have not committed any sins, rape his/her body and then ovulate, where the Hellhound's puppies then eat the master's body from the inside out once they reach sufficient age, leaving not even bones behind.

I wish I wasn't capable of such gory, gruesome, and macabre thoughts so easily.