[Serah]

Hi everyone, it's me again...

I've been talking to my ex-boyfriend trying to be his friend at least. He dumped me and I wanted to get back together when he asked me but I was too afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again so soon. I noticed he was talking to me less and less. I wasn't too bothered at first. I called him tonight and talked to him saying, "If we are gonna date again you gotta talk to me, you know." Trying to be playful about it, not mean spirited. He says, "Then maybe I should stay single longer." My heart stopped and I started cry and he didn't really say anything. I explained to him I was starting to get more comfortable with him and I wanted to be with him again. He thinks it's in my best interest if we don't date again. I asked him if it had anything else to do with it, another woman or something. Stupid question, I know. He said no, his reason was he wouldn't have time for me and he didn't want to hurt me. But at this point right now nothing would hurt me more than that. I haven't had any contact with anyone besides my family for two weeks? I have tried to make friends starting slowly with emails because I was almost raped a few years ago and most men I tried to make friends with just harassed me and stalked me. Nothing seems to stick though, I don't have any common interests with the people in my classes. The thought of rejection again from my ex-boyfriend and him not speaking to me will be devastating. Spending time with my family is not really something I want to do either. My mother has been belittling me and making me feel less of myself. My father doesn't seem to understand how I feel even though I'm most like him. My friends don't seem to talk to me much anymore no matter what I do. Both online and real life don't seem to have time. He said he needed some time to think but I just want to be with him again. I'm still in love with him. I've been so depressed with having no one to talk to and feeling isolated in my classes because I just feel I'm not on the same level as everyone else. I just wanted some advice or someone to talk to. If you could please, guys. Thanks.

tl;dr: Ex broke up with me, I wanted to get back together now after a couple months but now he thinks it would be in my best interest if we didn't. I've been depressed because I'm lonely and feel rejected by my family and friends. Things will get worse if he and I stop talking. I'd like some advice or someone to talk to. Thanks.