[Helsinki Harlot]

Bby; I didn't really think about anything. Originally I wasn't going to tell anyone. Like. He said shit and I said "Ok, can I at least have a smoke 'cause you were a DB" and I was going to the balcony to have the smoke and he goes "actually you should leave" so I just left. And I walked around Sarah's apartment and searched for shorts in the ash trays 'cause he'd smoked a ton of ours so we were out. And I was gonna do something bad so I woke Sarah up and told her and just bawled for 2-3 hrs. I couldn't think. I couldn't. Anything. I actually told Sarah when she was driving me to get smokes a few hours ago that "I'm just waiting for her to get online. I want to talk to her because she makes me feel loved. I need her right now."

I'm just. Ashamed. I fuckin' blew him (apparently I give better head than his girlfriend). He got off I didn't. And was all gungho on fucking but I WILL NOT HAVE SEX without a CONDOM. I won't do it. I've had two miscarriages I won't go through that shit anymore. No. And I won't fuck on the couch of someone else's place. I won't do it. NO. And just everything went downhill from there. Just. ARGH. He told me I was the smartest, most brilliant woman he had ever met, and if he wasn't with her he'd be all over me. BUT WTF. HOW DARE YOU, give me the wrong apartment number twice. I knocked on a strangers door in my "night time" clothes. He opened the door when I was halfway down the stairs and invited me in. I told him "You're a DB" and he asked "well why are you still here" and I told him because I wanted to give him a chance to prove that he was better than that and just drunk, and he kept going with the compliments, I asked for a smoke and then walking to the balcony he goes "you should leave." Sarah says it's because he would not be able to stop himself from hitting on me and trying to fuck me so that's the silver lining but.

FUCK. I'm not FIVE. I have been nothing but honest and straightforward the entire night. I knew he had a girlfriend but I thought he was just being friendly. Then he kept touching my leg and knee and when Sarah walked off sprang in and was all over me and my lips. And I pushed him back and said "GIRLFRIEND" and I told him about my first love cheating on me with my best friend, being abused by guys, and fucking one guy and a year later having his new girlfriend ruin my working life because she was so insecure. And he still kept going.

And no; your rules are perfect!! The only thing I'd add is unless I'm otherwise incapable, min. 1 art piece a week. Pref. 2 but at least one.