[Helsinki Harlot]

Fuck. Men. Or specifically fuck the guys that, fuck.

Went to the party last night even tho' I was tired and in pain. The best conversation with this one guy. He had a girlfriend. Get back to our place and continue this great political conversation. Sarah tells me he's hitting on me hardcore. I say nah he mentioned earlier he has a girlfriend. Sarah goes to bed. The guy kisses me. Fuckin' phenomenal. And I ground it into his head "girlfriend" and he told me they're not actually dating, and even if they were some conversation they just had would've nixed that. So we keep going. This guy is "so into me" he rips my panties. RIPS. Like holy fuck. One of the hottest things ever. But I won't fuck him without a condom a and in Sarah's apartment b (even if the flirting and everything was with her blessing). I don't know how hammered this guy was but he gives me the wrong apartment number twice. He catches me on my way down. Invites me in and tells me all these awesome things about how perfect I am but he DOES have a girlfriend. I ask for a smoke and going to go have it, he goes "Actually, you should probably leave." So I do.

What the actual fuck and feeling like a cheap whore. I asked every question, went through all of my protocols and then this? Why do I apparently attract unavailable men?