[Gallagher]

Weeeeeeeell, the way you've been seeing it is wrong. imo.

People are rarely able to change things like that on their own. They want to, other people want them to, but it just. Does. Not. Happen. That way.

Thinking of it as so strictly good guy and bad guy is, sorry, immature and extremely short-sighted. This is more complicated than that. It's always been more complicated than that.

I suppose I should add, when I was being abused, things didn't break off because nothing changed. They broke off because it was getting worse. Long past spending every possible minute. Long past trying to find ways for it to get better.

Short of circumstances like that, which you really can't be in given this very thread, I wouldn't be able to justify ignoring your feelings. I guess I see it as any other addiction, though. And whether the addiction is drugs, sex, or attention, those who want to change deserve the help to do so.

Also, very much agreeing with Belial here.