[Helsinki Harlot]

My sister left it for me. The DVD doesn't really motivate me honestly. I'm just wanting to get to a certain weight for myself. I got tired of my parents comments but I'm not doing it for them, or anyone else for that matter. I'm doing this for me because I want to feel good again. A lot of big worries are over now. Yeah I'm not going to school, parents aren't happy with that but at least now I know. Yeah I've got debt coming up but my parents will help. I have set goals ahead of me and I don't have to worry about anyone else. No crazy roommates, no drugs in the house that I have to worry about, not paying for anyone else. It's just a kick back to change. Last time I pushed myself this hard was when I got John's first year memorial tattoo. It's been 3 years and I didn't get to go to Finland, so that sucks. But if I work hard i can make it winter or have enough money saved up for next summer.

No DVD or book is going to give you that type of motivation. To say fuck it and try and get to a place where you're happy. I had to get in fights with a lot of people to finally feel this way, even a little bit about myself. :)

And by the by; do you still want your commission you ordered from me? I'm about to sit down and draw.