[Belial]

No reasonable person could expect you to be accountable for the actions of other people.
I have never spoken to you before but It seems you just have been going through a very rough patch. What they did is not a fault of yours but you now have to carry that weight on your shoulders.

You can decide to continue carrying that weight or let yourself heal from that pain. Healing won't be easy at all, but mourning isn't just something meant for the dead. Broken friendships and someone who betrayed you is also a kind of death that must be mourned.

I hope you can let yourself heal one day, doing something for yourself isn't always a bad thing.