[Batty]

It happens all the time. I start getting better, then someone, somehow, has to fuck that all up for me. I'm so proud of you for getting MUCH better than you were before, but, I'm constantly at WAR with myself. Thats all I've got up in my head. I did... far too much today. And I wasn't supposed to, but it happened anyway. ><;

Its like I have two of me, one, who KNOWS whats going on, has the capability and the drive to stop it, but the other part, the anorexic part, is the one who dominates. Reminds me why I'm doing what I'm doing, and what would happen if I stopped. And that part ultimately wins.

You DO matter, and you ARE important. So is everyone else who gives ten shits about me. Its just.. really hard. I don't even accept help from people I know offline, and that kills me. I've been doing pretty decent with the working out, though. I'm just constantly active, running errands on the bike, and... just.. not sitting down for more than five minutes at a time. I've been on this new routine, and I've been sticking to it religiously. The only time I do more than I'm supposed to, is on rest days... when I'm not supposed to do anything but my normal everyday walking and biking and such.

I'm proud of myself to an extent, I just wish I could move passed it.

And whoa. Long winded much? xD; Anywho, I think I'm gonna lay down for awhile, and try to get rid of this nasty headache.

I LOVE YOU GUYYSSS!