[Meizicht]

Duce: It's the temperature; we've already known this for years. It's why we get spotty service especially in the winter. It's been in the lower 50s during the night recently ( more specifically around two weeks. e___e ) so it is most likely the wire on the pole. Ever since Ike waaayyy back when held together when it got here and knocked a tree on the wires, nobody has really fixed it. In fact, it's probably a hazard, but we live in a part of town nobody cares about. Kind of the reality of things. OTL



The problem is, paired with that, she will not admit defeat on anything. Even when she knows she has to. She'll just get mad. And usually will take it out on my dad ( though if I happen to be the one who brought up the subject, it's all directed at me )
What I do not get, though
is her attitude toward me doing anything myself.
There are times where she gets all pissed off about me not getting a regular job like everyone else ( though it's rare; she is not one of those "get your ass out of my house" mothers ) but then when I say "okay, then take me so I can get applications" she tells me to stop having an attitude.
... WHAT? I mean.. OTL
Every time I say "I'll go get a job" she jumps on my face like screeching vampire. It's like.. Okay, I'm fine not getting one because I'm not motivated for much of anything ( hence shut-in ) but all the more reason for you to SUPPORT me in those things, right? Not jumping on me like a banshee.
It's the same when I try to do things myself in this house. I've long since hit the age of a legal adult, yet I am not allowed to hear about money, about the bills, and if I ask, I get my head bitten off. ( Usually I only ask if it'll be a "tight week" just to know what's ahead )
It's like I'm not supposed to be a part of the family. I've already been ejected out of the extended family for reasons beyond anyone's control, and now I don't even feel like a part of this small three-person establishment that is supposed to be a family. My greatest and saddest solution to everything that's happened is to literally try to make my existence as small to them as possible. Because if I open my mouth, it leads to terrible things that exhaust me. I've tried talking to them about this before but it's like in one ear and out the other. Just goes back to how it always is. The only thing that makes me feel better is telling myself it's my fault and that it'll go away if I just apologize.

I'm going to stop before I end up airing out my entire closet here. I didn't even mean to type that much, lol. +usually tries to keep his problems to himself+


Dx Sorry for treating this like a lifestyles/issues thread.