[Gallagher]

Sometimes, I want to die.

Nothingness doesn't seem so bad sometimes. Silence, not quite so scary. I've heard many things. Of white lights and sleep, of heaven and hell, of absolute nothingness.

I thank whatever God there is that I am not immortal. My time will come at some point. Until then, the chance at happiness is enough to hold onto, even if I don't feel anywhere near it.

I fear that most people don't understand my feelings. They don't see that no matter how I sound when I tell them how much I care, I mean it. I always mean it. Even when I've only known you for a week, even when I've never seen your face, even when I don't know your real name, my love is real. It is true. It is unconditional, and it is everlasting.

I've been hurt. I've been raped. I've seen murder. I've lost so much. I've forgiven them all, all the ones that have done wrong. I can't imagine harboring anger towards them. Any of them. And yet, at times, it feels like people think that all I'm capable of. Anger. Bitterness. Disgust.

I wish more people would see how brilliant the world is. How brilliant life is. Maybe then I wouldn't be ashamed of myself.