[Gallagher]

Say it with me now.

Writing other things does not get what I need to write done.
Writing other things does not get what I need to write done.
Writing other things does not get what I need to write done.

Better

There’s so much to do…

I’ve thought about it, every now and then. That is to say, the thought crossed my mind, before I brushed it away.

It’s almost the same thing, really. Just… not quite.

It’s a frightening thought. I know I’m not like others. It’s an understatement, really.

Preston.

I wonder when he’ll be back. It’s been a while… No, I suppose it hasn’t. I miss him. But it hasn’t been too long. It’s alright. There’s no need to worry.

I wonder what we’ll be doing tonight? I should come up with some ideas. It would be a nice surprise.

What was I doing?

I did it again.

Oh, right.

The thought has crossed my mind before. I don’t know how many times. I don’t know why I ignore it. It seems like it would be important.

I think I’m afraid.

Huh… What a strange shiver…

What if I’m crazy?

No, I don’t think I am… Wait, they never think they are, do they? I wouldn’t hurt anyone, at least. Not myself, either.

Liar.

Well… Not anymore, I think. Why would I? Everything’s fine now. Everything’s perfect.

Except me.

But that’s alright. I don’t need to be. No one does. No one can be.

Do I want to be?

It wouldn’t make me happy. I know that. ‘Perfect’ isn’t me. It was never supposed to be. And I like me. I want to be me. I just want to be… better.

My head hurts. Maybe I should take it easy on the reading for a while.

Better.

Yeah… I think I’ll do that.

What does ‘better’ mean? A better person? A better man? A better me? Is it all the same?

What’s wrong with me in the first place?