[Mizeria]

Monday, June 25, 2012

Thus It Continues On...

Days come and go. Always the same.
On and on the world turns even as the pieces of my life lay on the floor at my feet.
They come and go in a haze.
Time passing slowly.
Will nothing ever change?
Happiness falling short. Always just over that one last hill but so far out of reach.
Please sweet sanity come back to me.
I miss the times when I could sleep soundly. Peacefully. If only for an hour.
Now sleep never comes.
I'm wanting for something more then this boring existence.
Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute.
Time seems to repeat, but only the worst of things.
If only, just once, happiness could be mine.
True, pure happiness.
Love, but not the fake love.

Real love, the kind of legends.
The kind of those damn sappy romances.

I know its crazy to try.
To even think about it.
But we're good, until someone comes along and gives me choices.
We're toxic, but oh so perfect.
I've loved him so long.
He is the only thing I can say that has kept me stable.
The flips are less when he's in my life.
Just apart of it. Even if we're not together.
We're so good, so perfect.
So deadly.

So I sit and I contemplate. The good, the bad, and the boring.
Life as a whole holds no meaning for me anymore.
What keeps me going is that promise, from so long ago.
Eight little words that keep me here.
Grounded.
To this world I hate.
Because that persons tears mean something to me.
More then just, I should feel bad because that is the right thing.
They matter.
They keep me here.
And they don't even know it.

So the minutes pass.
The hours tick by.
And the days drag on into this endless void of nothingness.
As my boring life keeps turning.
'Round in circles I go.
Work, Home, Work, Home.

Life is but a dream
and this dream is nothing but a nightmare
and my nightmares are nothing but false fantasies.
and my fantasies cling to my soul.
As I hope for that one spec of light to show itself again.
That happiness on the horizon...

but it never does.
so the fantasies die and the nightmares raise and rein
In those dreams, those dreams that are life.



Writers Note:

I've been meaning to post this one for a while.
I was sitting at dennys trying to sort through a lot of mixed emotions, and in the end never truly found my answer.