[Asami]

Dear diary,

Stop being so withdrawn and depressed. Just because people say things doesn't make them true. You need to stop taking things to heart. You're no more important than the next person. In fact you are less important than anyone. You should work harder and harder.
You are just so lazy. No wonder you get yelled at all the time! You deserve it. You deserve every insult they throw at you. Just lay down and accept it like the good little girl you are. I'm glad you've finally decided to give up and not fight anymore. Its a good thing to be a door mat. There's less fights and heartache that way.

One day you are going to realize what you know inside and part of you who knows it will laugh and the other part will cry.

Which brings me to my next point. Stop. Crying. All. The. Time. You are such a frikken baby. Not everything deserves to be cried over. You annoy everyone when they find you crying over something so retarded and meaningless. They all make fun of you and you know it.

You need to try harder to mask your feelings instead of wearing them on your sleeve. People are already suspecting something is up. You get messages all the time asking what's wrong or if you are mad at someone on facebook. Just get over yourself. Keep telling them you're alright. Do not slip and tell them what's happening with you. Don't tell them what's wrong. They don't care. You don't care. Its all good. So smile more and make it convincing. Stop hiding in your room. Go hangout with people. Show them everything is okay and nothing is wrong.
I know its hard but at least pretend to be strong even though you are so pathetic and weak.

I know most everyone wants you gone. I mean look at yourself! So annoying and such a whiner! I mean even people on trisphee hate your guts and hope you leave. You probably should. I mean you've been getting on less and posting so little because you are beginning to realize how much the people here don't like you. You force yourself into conversations and people don't like that. In fact they ignore you just to show you how much they want you gone! So maybe you should leave. They are already making plans with your items. You should let them do what they want instead of what you had planned. You learned just how much people hate you and want you gone. Especially one person you really cared about. She probably has been faking everything just like everyone else in your life. You have no real friends. People use you then throw you away when they are done. And during the friendship you cling so much because somewhere deep down you KNOW they will leave you and you don't want them to. Just don't cry when it happens like you always do. Every single fake friend you've had from Ashley to kortney you've cried over. You pathetic worthless piece of shit. Especially kortney. She ruined you beyond repair yes jess has been able to fix you a bit but its only time until she leaves and you'll fall down that pitt again.

I know you think how dare they do this to me. But you know. You do deserve it. Look how you are when you're friends with them. Always saying the wrong thing. Laughing too loud. Being so annoying. If only they u.derstood why you do those things maybe they wouldn't leave you. Maybe...

Oh. Stop telling people about your scars and problems. You know your stomach will NEVER be attractive because of what you carved into it even if Mike does kiss it and such... he finds it repulsive I know it. Every inch of me is just so... gross. I'm not worth being in a relationship with. Im just too broken and all around not attractive. I mean look at you. Do you want me to get started? Your hair is so gross it gets greasy so fast oh and its too thin and you can never make it look okay Its always in the worst hairstyle imaginable. Oh and the color. Blech .. your face is too fat and you have a double chin and its so hairy! You have long sideburns and you do have a beard and moustache. Your chest is too large and your arms are fat. So frikken fat. Your arms and wrists are riddled with scars and burns. Your fingers are too fat and your nails are horrid. Your stomach. Oh my God. What the fuck is that! So fat. So large. You need to STOP eatting you fucking pig. Your thighs are so big she. You walk they rub each other. Ect you just need to stop eatting. Seriously. Look at yourself how can you think yourself attractive ever? :/ no one could ever love you. No one wants to be seen with you or be around you.

All in all. Maybe you should withdraw yourself more... maybe its a good thing for you to not push your company on others. They don't want you so why should you try???

Love,
yourself.