[Poggio]

Asami, I am not going to reiterate a lot of what was said in the thread. Where there is a will there is away. Unlike the others I know a bit about what your brother has done. Your mother in my opinion sounds like the least of your worries. However the fact that you got anything at all does show me that they care, in there strange way about you. Especially considering your birthday was mostly a car ride back from a test. I have told you once before that you need to talk to some one. I don't care if you are scared but fuck it all, it sounds like domestic violence. If you talk to some one as embarrassing as it will be for your family I can promise you they will put you in a better situation. They have group homes for this very reason. Hell you are 19 which means you are a legal adult in most cases except for drinking. It means you can make your own doctor appointments and and the very least call a fucking help hotline. The girls and boys town will still help you. Guilt Free I might add. They are paid to listen and offer advice. It is not the job or your mother that worries me the most it is the fact that you are bulimic, a cutter, and getting abused by a family member.

The Job thing. Woman you have a computer or a phone, clearly you use it to get on the internet. Where there is a will there is a way. Just because your mother refuses to drive you doesn't mean you can't do it. Most applications are done online now a days and even so you could possibly find a job that you can do at home. It requires a little research and dedication. You could also try finding a job in your boyfriends part of town. It could potentially mean moving in with him. We have talked about the job thing before and it just seems like for now you aren't willing to contemplate other aspects or ways to get a job. You are stuck on the hurtle that you can't get to a location. I think that Xun was right ( about a lot of things) If you show people in your small town you are willing to work you will get a job.

I have come to realize that you are the only female daughter in the house. You need to realize that your parents being traditionalist in their faith that means different rules for you. I means that you are suppose to be the good Christian woman. It does not mean you fall in to the role and since you can not seem to speak up for your self just know that is what is expected of you until you can prove your parents of your individuality. I understand this, my family is southern baptist. I have been guilt tripped by hell fire and brim stone enough to make me want to die a virgin.

In response to Xun and yours argument: It is in the Bible hell it is one of the ten commandments. Honor Thy mother and Father. I do not think there is an exact quote that says he has made us Equal and if it is it has been blow out of context for various advocacy groups to use.

My biggest issue like I said before is that you talk to some one. I don't care if you sit at your phone and roll your eyes thinking 'oh hell I know all this' as long as you fucking do it. Things are not going to change for you unless you become proactive in your life. There is another quote I am not sure if it is in the bible but “God helps those who help themselves.” Even if you don't believe get out and do and stop just voicing your opinion to those that can't really do anything for you. Maybe it will light a fire under you and show you if you truly desire it only you can make it happen.