HOLY CATS! This place has been quite busy whilst I was gone o_Õ
This last week has been a trial and a half... a week ago (last Friday), my eldest kitteh, Lil' Miss Sassy Pants (Sassy, for short) was scheduled for a vet appointment - her last vet appointment, to be more precise. Well, 24 hours before she was supposed to go in, she started eating again and was more like her old self. So, I cancelled the appointment.
This past Monday, I found a lesion- a tear in her lip- where the cancerous tumor is growing. I talked with the husband-creature about it, and he told me to call and make a new appointment. So, I called, and set her appointment for Thursday at 11:45am.
I hardly ate anything all week (I lost about 1 dress size *silver lining*), and I cried so much my eyes hurt (thus the no posting online).
I spent as much time with Sassy as possible when I was awake, and made sure she was right by my side when we slept. I was hand feeding her at least half the time she ate. I knew that I had to let go for her to get some peace... and I honestly thought that was what she wanted, too.
I told Eric on Wednesday that I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't give the kill order AGAIN! He was uncharacteristicly understanding and said, "Alright. I'm saying it: we have to put Sassy to sleep. There. It's off your shoulders now."
I felt a little better- but not much.
I stayed up all night with Sassy Wednesday night through Thursday morning. I didn't cry (not in front of her, at least). I read Psalms to her and promised her that she was going to be reunited with her brothers- her littermates, and the momma-kitteh who raised them. I told her that this was the only was for her mouth to heal. I was strong for her.
Thursday morning came, and since we had been up all night, I stayed with the normal "fooding the cats" routine, but didn't expects Sassy would want to eat.
WHOA, was wrong!!
Not only did she eat, she demanded seconds!!
She was talkative and active, and even got up in my bay window (which she has never done in the almost 2 years that we have lived here!). When I went to pick her up, she ran from me every time.
She was not acting like a cat on her deathbed.
My in-laws came over to pick us up to take us to town, and I had to fight with. Sassy to get her in the carrier. I sat in the back seat with her for the 40 minute drive. She did not stop talking the whole trip. She was practically tearing open the door to the carrier by shoving her paws and not-small claws through the grating. I was trying to pet her through the grating, and I have some pretty nasty cuts on my hands and arms to prove it. She was so strong!
I already didn't want to do it, but her strength and determination seemed to me that SHE didn't want to do it, either!
Both my Mom and Dad in-law were firefighter/EMTs for over 10 years in Kat's community where old age is the highest cause of death (of the residents... MVAs are #1 for the people passing through thanks to the winding hill one must take to get in or out of town). They started asking me "quality of life" questions about Sassy. It turns out, she's not in the range low enough to qualify for euthanasia. I said I'd talk to the vet about it when we got there. We'd explore all options before putting her to sleep.
The vet agreed with Mom and Dad. Sassy was out of her carrier, wandering around the exam room, talking up a storm when she wasn't on the exam table with the doc.
He confirmed, based on the quality of her fur, the fact that she hasn't lost even half a pound since her Feb 28 appointment, her muscle tone, activity, ability to use her litterbox (which she hasn't had a single accident), alertness, and desire to eat and interact - this cat was NOT ready to be put to sleep. OHMAIFREAKINGGAWSH! PRAISE JESUS!
The vet gave me another 14 day supply of pain meds, and an injectable antibiotic (Eric gets to do THAT!), and told us the signs to watch for that indicate that it's "time". (Eric met us at the vet's office.) He said we could pick up more meds as needed without an actual visit with Sassy for as long as we need them.
She's already showing improvement from the injectable antibiotics, and is EXTREMELY happy to be home, as am I!!
I know her cancer is terminal, and I don't want her suffering at all, but I would totally be lying if I said I wasn't happy that the vet let me bring her home.
So, for those of you still awake, Sassy is doing great (or, as great as anyone with a cancerous tumor in their mouth can be expected - better than that, actually) and is safe and comfy right next to me on her heated blankie and I am back from being a grief-blinded basket case and almost functional again ^_^ (aka I'M BACK!!)
*YaY!* for happy endings!
Now I have 50+ pages of backlogging to do in this thread alone.
Saiyouri, I hope you get used to your new pill quickly <3
If you are having a major issue with nausea, as your doc to prescribe you generic Phenergan. That's what I take on the days I'm sick from oral chemo. BUT- be careful. It's main side effect is that it's as potent as most prescription sleeping pills. It knocks me right out >.<
(((HUGS))) I hope you guys haven't forgotten me yet >.<