[CupcakeDolly]

This is a total tl;dr. You have been warned.

I've been talking to a friend for quite a while - I want to say maybe two or three years. We started off having a somewhat casual sexual relationship (as much as we could at a distance, anyway), and then continued just talking to each other when we both got involved in our own relationships.

We're both single now, but still live at a distance, and I've been talking to him a lot more. We've cammed a few times and send each other pics and stuff. By all means, it shouldn't be a huge deal. Thing is, I have issues with idolization. I think perhaps that since I've been alone, I've started to cling to the thought of being with this guy, and I've built him up in my mind. I think about him all. The time. And it drives me fucking crazy. It takes all the restraint that I have to try to be cool and to not constantly text or IM him.

Everyone I've talked to about it so far has said that I'm being an idiot, and that I need to stop talking to him, and cut off all communication with him completely. This is the part where I do the douchiest thing I could possibly do. This guy, since I've started talking to him again after my breakup, has told me all about how his friends are slowly abandoning him and refusing to talk to him, and how much it's been bothering him. I'd told him before that I would be there for him. Then last night, because I suddenly feel this urgent need to make these thoughts about him stop once and for all, I tell him that I don't think I can talk to him anymore.

He got pissed, of course, and he has every right to be. I screwed up and became one of those people who try to abandon him. Our conversation about it was never resolved, so for now I'm waiting for him to contact me, to see if he still wants to talk about it. I don't know what to do, though. I don't know if I can possibly do anything that will make both of us happy.