[Asami]

Dear diary,

Domt take what they say about you seriously. No matter what they say you are perfect.. yes you have your flaws but doesnt everybody? I know having all your faults thrown in your face hurts and you want to cut or make yourself throw up but asami you are stronger than that ...at least i hope so. I know i have many scars and new ones have joined in but you cant keep using that knife as an escape.

I know im fat and chubby but having my father yell at me and tell me how worthless and useless and fat i am doesnt help... after he told me those things i ran to the toilet and purged myself of that unwanted food.

I always wonder why people think im beautiful and are jealous of me when they have nothing to be jealous of. I am not the person they think i am.. its hard to put this mask on and pretend everything is great and my life is so so perfect when its not. I know depression has gotten ahold of me yet again and this time i know im not strong enough to fight it... i really need some help but not therapy like last time that turned out to be a disaster ... something else but i dont know what...

You really need to learn to love yourself and think better of yourself because all i end up doing is hurting the people who mean most to me..

And STOP pushing people away... if you keep doing that someday youll have noone.... is that what you really want?

Love asami