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#144
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Arsis_von_Neaera
THIS. IS. SPAR -shot- ... *gurgle*
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I spoke the dialogue aloud because I was excited about it. It sounds very very epic up until the "We are not alone, and we are not to know fright!".
The rest of this is sufficiently powerful in spoken dialogue. That is the only line that felt odd. I would suggest a different word from fright. Other than that, this rather got my blood pumping.
Maybe it's a condition, ever think of that? No, no you didn't. You never thought, "oh maybe he's sensitive about his invisible eyes." Maybe it's a skin condition.
"Maybe she was born with it..."
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Posted 01-27-2012, 02:07 AM
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